°Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again°
I am having one of those days. One of those bad days. And I used to think that it only happens to weak people. But now it is happening to me, and I know I am not weak. So I guess it can happen to anyone at any time. You just have to sit there at take the punch from the world.
Aren't we done yet, world? I'm waving the white flags and anything else I can thing of. Could you please give me a break?
At least I have started kickboxing lessons. They will teach me to take a punch. They are already teaching me that. And I am taking those punches like a big girl. Yet, again, once the pain penetrates inside of me, there is no other way but to release the silent scream, the cry for help. The cry that will never be heard by anyone who would be able to give a comforting hug. This sucks.
°Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again°
It pains me, if I have to be honest. And surely, it may not be as bad as it seems, but it still pains me to the core of my heart. There are not many people to make me feel alive, so once I meet one, I try to stick to it. Unfortunately, I am covered with Teflon, which makes you slide and go away. Just like the wind.
I know, I know, I brought it on myself. Not helping though. This part of me will never die, and I am grateful. It's just the pain that follows is something I do not welcome. But then it comes, it comes.
°Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again°
Stephanie probably had it all right from the very start. Obsess with purses and high heels and low calorie drinks and nothing else. Maybe I should try to be more like my schizophrenian side kick, more drama, true, but a different kind of drama. The one where no one gets hurt. Only the wallet.
I think I just heard my heart crack.
°However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you°
OFF Topic
I always wondered, if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever.
And now I know the answer. I went to the casino at the end of the world. It's been rebuilt, quite fast and efficiently. However I am finding myself at the same poker table, with the same deck of cards that's been stacked once again and I am still finding myself in the same miserable situation. I don't want to bet anymore, I've got nothing else left. I placed my cards on the table, there is no more place to hide. I know I've lost. I always knew I would lose, the odds were never in my favour, yet again, the optimistic and naive me was still betting, because I still believe that one day, when I bet, I will bring back the jackpot home. I thought it was then, but I was wrong. Obviously.
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