15 Jul 2012

ªTreat me like a strangerº

Sometimes it is not enough just to make a promise to yourself. Sometimes you need to say it. Out loud. To a friend, or a lover, even facebook or someone you will never meet.

I started on `A clockwork orange`. It’s going slow [not as slow as my damn thesis though], but it’s going. It does remind me a little of the scenes from the movie. It’s strange reading a book and having already all the characters with faces. I was used to make faces on my own.

Anyways, not so much, but not so little happened in the past two weeks.

First important thing – I moved from Norrebro [and away from all those adorable Arabic shops] to Amager, another immigrant’s kind of area of the city. I have my own room. Not too big, not too small, not so much stuff in it, but I like it here so far. Window can be opened, kitchen seems alright, there is a big size shower. What else a girl could want, right?

Once I moved from Norrebro, I got my bike back. So now my baby is called `Centurion Discovery` and has a more decent chain to lock and hopefully is not going to be stolen from me. It needs to get fixed again though. My back bracket managed to loosen up. It’s Sunday today, so I hope it will not crash before Monday when I actually could bring it to the shop.  My kind of last day in Norrebro was going around those Arabic adorable shops and buying full back-pack of vegetables and fruits and other stuff. It’s nothing like that on my side of the city. There are not so many or with such good deals sales in here. I think I may need to go back to Norrebro from time to time.

I also in the mean time got paid. Money flew so fast, you could hardly imagine. Of course, there were a lot of things – paying debts, deposit and rent. I finally managed to buy an external hard disc and my flat-mate is trying to get my photos from my old hdd [keeping my fingers crossed and hopes high up]. Now it’s time to save money for my new baby – camera. I already know which camera I want/need. I just need to wait for heads up from a friend who is currently in a second-hand paradise for technique and then.. I will hopefully hold it back in my hands again. One colleague asked me why she never saw me taking pictures, if I like photography so much. I told her it was stolen and her question back was so innocently naïve `why?` I don’t really know why. I don’t know if I care anymore.

Last weekend was full of surprises and things happening and.. Well, I can only say I definitely did not need that much of it. But you can’t escape it all, now can you?

It started innocently enough – I was man and angry and working closing shift on Wednesday. I was ready to leave and just go home, but after Michael told me he was going to Sam’s bar to meet some friend and for one beer only, I just couldn’t say no. So I went. I found a new friend, still don’t know why she liked me and bought me shots and all that. She even found me yesterday in the Dubliner and wanted to hang out. So after 2.5 beers I left Michael with his friends [one beer my a..] and went home. I needed some sleep or some work to do. Tursday. Ieva came in on Thursday and we met at Monika’s place. Of course, as always, Ieva met some guy on the train and thought about maybe going to the city for a beer or so. I had to work Friday at 7a.m. and she was tired in general, so we made a deal – one drink. Just one drink. Yeah, one drink my a.. I had two and went to sleep. She stayed up till 4a.m. Anyways, I had kind of an awfully busy Friday. I worked in the conference center till 15.45. I ran to the Dubs and started there at 16. I worked till maybe 21.30, had a quick meal and went to the BS to meet Monika and some others. Beer was kicking in a bit faster than you would expect [I blame lack of sleep, long working hours, not too much food, emotional status and all that] and before I knew it, I was back in the Dubliner where Ieva was done with her shift and some others. On my way back I fell off my bike [this time I blame Mark, who insisted on escorting me home and was going too damn close to me with his bike]. Saturday I worked most of the day and then we stayed with Ieva for our pints in Dubliner. And that was a fantastic night. Seriously, it was so great, I miss that. My other Ieva and Evija was also there, as was Spruty and a 17 year old, who came with Gus. He just came to Denmark that day, so he knew no one there, so we started talking with him. He was real fun. We talked, we gossiped a little, we laughed, we danced [well, okey it was my and Ieva who danced]. Anyways, it was a fantastic night, once again, but then it was time for basketball, so we left everyone back in there and I went to sleep. In the morning we met with Ieva for breakfast and goodbyes. I had a very easy day at home, recovering kind of and then at night – I went to work. 

Next Tuesday it was my other Ieva’s birthday, which she celebrated a bit in the Dubs and I had to work. All fun and games.

All the rest of the week was kind of slow and easy. I did not do much, I just was trying to find a way to kick myself to start working on my thesis seriously. Tomorrow, maybe?

Alright, another promise here and now – Thesis. Work hard and as soon as I have time [since I do not have my schedule for next week just yet].

Off topic

I have no idea where I am getting myself into, but it may be bad. Not for me, but for that other person. Is it worth it? Probably not. Would that be a mistake – probably. Somehow I still feel I may actually do that mistake.

Emotional chaos started wildly, but is under control now. I thought [maybe too much], I analyzed, I tried to find answers. I may have found them. Even if they are not correct, that’s the best I could get. Well, I need to do something about it, if you refuse to give me answers.

It’s amazing. But this chaos will help me to answer another question as well. I just need to be patient and wait for it. It’s almost exciting.

As for new old/good/deep/shallow sounds.. I cannot stop listening to this: