18 Jul 2015

°Under the purple spring°

Something is wrong with me. And I am not talking about small simple `bad hair day`. I am talking proper wrong. Today, while in a shower I started crying. Just like that. And it was not that I got soap in my eye.

I know I need to talk it through. My problem is - I don't know what to talk about or who to talk to. I just know I need to get it all out.  I seem to have it all more or less figured out and in places. And yet again, I choke on my inner screams while brushing my teeth.

Maybe it is the fault of Angus? Well, not just him, her as well. Maybe I should just keep the distance from them, at least for a little while? On the other hand, they seem to help me clearing my dirtied paths.

<< I should have bought that ticket when I had a chance. And now, I don't know when they are planning on coming back. I can only hope that they are>>

The realization hit me, fairly hard, that people are changing and I am not so much. Because I am lacking a friend who would understand my chaotic, maybe unrealistic or just unreasonable problems and `drink about it` with me. No judgement, just the hug, the jug and .... (losing any other -ug words.., maybe I need a dictionary for my next birthday rather than a miracle?).


Shame we all grow at a different pace.

°I'll miss you, when you are gone°

I am looking at my newest purchase that I really really wanted for so long and I just don't have a motivation to take it out for a spin. It makes me angry, but at the same time I just want to cuddle in my sleep and not to wake up until this strange wave passes by. 

It will right? You can tell me. You need to tell me.

°I had a dream that you were gone°