15 Mar 2017

°Tampered brick, made of silk°

°I'm good at staying awake..
I'm good at staying up real late..
I'm good at playing your sympathy games, but if you touch me, I'll break..
But if you touch me I'll break°

We live in a f****d up society where a mistake made when announcing a movie winning an Oscar is more important than 4 billion people being cut off from fresh water in Santiago de Chile or a German guy being beheaded in Philippines by the jihadists. In a society where being stupid is getting rewarded and being a genius is only paid moderately at best. Where the Kardashian sisters are getting money for being plain stupid on a TV and little children in, let’s say South Sudan, are starving. Where running in a field after the ball for 90 minutes with other 19 guys pays millions while scientists who are researching anti-cancer drugs need to go through the usual financial struggle just like the rest of us.

It’s probably always been like that – a beautiful dress and someone’s smeared make up on the red carpet is more important than yet another air strike on innocent people somewhere far away and mostly because it is more entertaining and might leave you happy. And the rest? If I don’t learn about it, it does not exist and it cannot cloud my good mood.

Humans are horrible livings. Not that I’m any better or worse. It’s just an observation.

°I keep'em coming cause I've already crossed the line
I keep'em coming cause I like to forget
And it's my uneven heart beat that keeps me up at night
When we play in the trail of the broken hearts and the mess they left behind°

3 times. That’s all it took, only 3, even if long, times. And the weird/sad thing is, it is almost a record really. I went in with an open heart, all ready to have to come back later for the pieces and it took full three cycles before I, not even realized, just faced the `Now the pond is too deep` status.

I expressed the `I’m going to regret this` thought loudly in the very beginning and got shot back with a confused look. Of course confused, because that does not exactly make sense. In a normal world that is, where you live. And her. And millions of others. Even where Dog Orchestra is creating new songs and sends e-mails to listen to the new Demo. Not at the end of the world though. You most probably will never know, but that one step, that one little action where I have decided to follow my own advice and promise to myself instead of being a rational and emotional roller-coaster avoiding `normal` adult, it is equivalent to a high stake bet in the casino at the end of the world, at that poker table. You may have controlled my mind the whole time, but the bet, the bet I placed myself.

°Make no mistake, if you touch me I'll break
If you touch me I'll break
So say, oh please say it's not too late for us
Tell me that you love me still°

The `almost` is that magical word, which can crash and burn you, but it can also rebuild the hope and the will to live. Almost. That almost-last kiss or the most sincere `sorry` you have heard in a long time. Almost a regret to see one go. It’s either a good sign or a disastrous one. It's almost heaven or almost hell.

You never lied to me and that I like about you. Well, that and `Gangsta’s paradise`. And I think you have a very big heart and warm personality. Maybe even warm enough to melt the ice of heart. No, not mine. Mine’s a little like a slut, always open for a new challenge to love or to get broken.

°Beneath the stars and the heart shaped pills. It makes no sense,
But it sounds so pretty, sounds so pretty, sounds so pretty when you say it.
Make no mistake, if you touch me I'll break°


°So watch me die in the flashes of a disco light. Won't you meet me in the club tonight, won't you try to bring me back to life, won't you watch me die
Make no mistake, if you touch me I'll break°