27 Feb 2010

.That's me trying.

Well I know and I admit, I have a lot. Too much, You may add, but then again, no one’s perfect, everyone has it’s own weakness. The one, I had to face recently, is, probably, one of the most common ones for anyone - my computer crashed. And it’s one thing, when it just gives You a message of “I need re-installing windows, please”, but mine decided to leave me for good. So, once again, everything I had - is gone, I cannot even re-install windows, not sure if I can get it all out. Well, it was a disaster for the first time, this time - it’s just sad. Still counting which pictures I’ve lost, which stories will never be finished and which ones I will never be able to repeat in writing. But then again, as long as I have it all in my head (damn, I’ve got a whole lot of mess in that one), it’s gonna be ok. I will make some new pictures, I will write some new stories (put them somewhere safely on-line, just in case, though). What is really sad here - it was MY computer. I know, it was very old, almost not functioning normally, broken almost into pieces, and yet again, it was mine. I bought it for my own little money, earned in that Keansburg Amusement park (oh, Keansburg…all the good old memories. Can You imagine, that even now, after almost 5 years passed, I still sometimes miss it and all the songs, I’ve heard there, are still bringing me back in my mind?), it was together with me in so called “No way in Norway”, I had it for too long not to get addicted.
Even besides that, having no access to internet, e-mail, skype, music, movies really makes it so much worse. So I know and I admit: “My name is Ona and I am a pc-holic”.
Even though my heart is still bleeding from saying goodbye to the old one (yes, I know I’m way overreacting this), I had no choice - I need a new one. Addiction is addiction, since I decided to live with it, I need to please it as well. So, after some questions and answers sessions, browsing in internet and visiting the shops, I’ve decided to purchase it on-line. Yeah, I never buy stuff on-line, with an exception of airtickets (but that’s service, so different story), so I decide to go with a big thing. Well, it worked. Although I had to wait for too long (in my opinion, not in their’s), it arrived safely and is being used, successfully so far. It’s a bit sad since it’s all empty, but I will cover that eventually. And it’s still needs some time for me to get used. Keyboard and windows are danish (gotta love that language), windows have this strange new look (I’m more of an old-fashion kind of girl) that I have no idea if I can change. But we will work all this out. So far it’s only “Dell”, but we definetely need a good name.

Good old times - good old memories.
It’s still one of the powerful forces and I can do nothing about it. Now, since my pc holds only maybe 50 songs, all downloaded from e-mail account, usually old ones and ALL with no exception, bringing some very strong memories, it kinda keeps on reminding me the places, the people, the conversations, the smiles and tears and everything. I’m still not sure why I keep on coming back. Even if I completely realise that this is only moments of the past, they seems to look so real and so close, that You can almost touch it and smell it. My play-list might be short, but all good. Placebo - taste in men.mp3 reminds me even more than I could have imagined, some moments with Coldplay, Nightwish, Portishead and unforgetable. I’m still missing Escape with Romeo, Lake of tears and other millions more, which will come eventually, while bringing even more memories. Just not sure if I can handle some of them. At least now.

Danish systems and biureaucracy
This country is built on the rules. It’s not a very bad thing, sometimes, but in some cases You just want to scream. “There is nothing I can do, that’s the rules” sometimes brings You desperate times. There is not flexibility in this country, no ‘exceptional cases’, which, I agree, are overestimated in other places, but sometimes necesarry as well. Call me crazy, but I do not consider waiting 7 hours in the emergency room as a normal practice. “Eventually You get used to that, but in the begining when all You hear around it: “according to our policy”, “You have to fill in this and that in order to proceed” and etc. You start wondering, maybe chaos-xalara way of living is not that bad after all.
And what kills me, that my school requires us to meet all of the rules and regulations, that has endless list, but themselves, fail in such a simple cases some times. I know it may sound a little like a grumbling, but it really makes me angry, when we have schedule for two lectures, but proffesor shows up only for the second one, and keep us there for over-time, almost as much as the lecture is. I mean, it might be just my opinion, but how can You double book the same proffesor for two classes?? Especially when at least one of the classes You claim to care a lot about.
Also, they are sending us notifications not even a day in advance (I mean, why bother right?), couple hours or even minutes before the lecture, but I do not get an answer for a simple question for a week. And of course, after sending the same question to the same person after 5 days, with boss’s e-mail in cc list, I get the reply right away. Ok, there is an excuse in note for not replying, but appearently, if You can write it now, You could have done it five days ago as well easily. But then again, I’m just a student, so why bother?

You must have seen millions of videos about “blond is parking a car” and similar. I must say - come to Denmark, it’s happening all day, every day. I already asked some danes, so appearently You have to learn how to park and parking is a part of driving test, it seems they either skip that part or just forget about it after the pass. I’m no expert, but looking how these people are stuggling with a car, moving forwards and backwards for a lot of time, makes me think, I am not desperate in this field. I mean, at least there are people, who need more time for the same activities than I do.

Working stuff
People who know me are aware, that I am ‘the lucky one’ with almost everything I touch. That is something can happen, it will happen to me. I most probably have some kind of unexplainabled (or unexplained yet) powers that destroys it all around.
For this not long time in both of the places, I managed already to crash accounting program (I’m not proud of that, but definetely very happy that guys managed to recover it with almost no serious damages). It’s amazing, from their point of You: You hire a girl just for additional help around, and she makes the main program You work with, to go down. I’m just happy I did not have to go down with it.
Another ‘nice’ experience - breaking glasses. And yes, I know, they are fragile, they may break, but not out of nowhere. One night I had probably three glasses, broken only when holding it (and not, not squeezing). I try to keep my bad thoughts and negative minds outside my head, at least when I work. So far I was lucky with no hurting myself badly with those glasses, but, You know my luck, it may come to that.
I also had this opportunity working in the best pub in the Copenhagen yet (at least for me). Working in John Bull is like hanging out in a nice place, but being paid as well. It’s never crowded, it’s never too many people in it, there are usually at least one or two that You can talk to and spend Your time nicely. Ah, I just love that place, so simple and so easy. If one day I’m gonna have my own pub, I would picture it something just like that one.
And still, no matter how You like or dislike working (especially in a bar at nights), people (and by people, I mean staff) are so nice and amazing that You keep on coming back. Because it’s nice to relax and have a beer or two after You are all done, talk about life, experiences, travelling and all the other things.

Boys Boys Boys
Denmark is strange in this field as well. Women have equal rights and everything everywhere (almost), but here You can really see that. From my personal point of view, genders have switched between themselves in a way here. “If You see a guy, that You find attractive and he looks at You, You should go and start talking to him” - that was an advice for me from a friend. And it’s strange a bit, isn’t it? I mean, I am more used to this situation from the opposite perspective - in a normal world it’s usually a girl who starts flirting with smile and eyes, and then a boy is making a first move by talking to her. Well, not here, evidently.
Also, it is kind of common for a guys not to ask a phone number of a girl, but give their’s instead. It is comfortable on some level, because it give You all the power: if You liked a guy, You are going to call him, if not, You can just throw it away, no need to stay and think: “is he gonna call? Is he???”

All in all
My life here in Denmark is going pretty well. The snow is almost gone, everyone is so much waiting for the spring, that I don’t even to say it out loud, how much I love it and how much I would like it to snow for at least one last time, to take it all away. My schedule is always pretty packed - but then again, it’s better to do more than less. I start feeling tired of it all, but I am pretty sure it’s worth it. My big plans are coming up and I keep my fingers crossed - it has to work.