31 May 2014

°Jumping a flaming fence°

Nothing changed since the last time.
Why am I lying? A lot changed. 

A part of me came back. Another part said goodbye.

And the middle one decided to be happy.
For the middle-self. And for you.

°°I dreamt about you nearly every night this week
How many secrets can you keep?
'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow
And I play it on repeat
Until I fall asleep°°

I have been trying to pleasantly surprise two people this week. One of them, a new found great friend, just got older a day ago. Another one is a colleague at work who is leaving our working area. I managed to catch only one of them. But she was very happy. And surprised. I got three hugs and she got beer flowers and a few small gifts. That good feeling flew through me when I managed. Manage to surprise and to make someone smile. 

The other one will have to be surprised next week. We'll manage. Not like it's the first time. Oh wait... For us, it is a first time. For the first time the two of us will try to surprise someone. Another special bond to share. Just like capability of running into the doors. 

Only special ones like us can do that.

I'm smiling. How about you?

°°(Do I wanna know)
If this feeling flows both ways?
(Sad to see you go)
Was sort of hoping that you'd stay
(Baby, we both know)
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

Crawlin' back to you°°

My dreams are still weird. And I keep on forgetting them. Maybe I should start dream diary. 
Interesting, but I cannot even remember what I dreamt last night. I remembered it this morning, but why I cannot now? You were there. There was something about you that made me a little worried. Or confused. Or something. 
See, if I have written it down, I would not have to wonder right now.

°°Crawlin' back to you
Ever thought of calling when you've had a few
'Cause I always do
Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new
Now I've thought it through
Crawlin' back to you°°

P.S. No, not you, you.

24 May 2014

°Troubles and rewards. Kisses and reports°

The summer of some sort has finally arrived to Denmark. You start realizing that when you stop needing gloves when you are biking to work at 6:45 in the morning. Or when you can unpack your summer clothes and shoes. Especially when you go outside in the park or just on the bench to have your lunch or just coffee break while you are in school.

That's all it takes. And then you see many people occupying every little piece of grass outside. Summer. With such short summer here, nothing else to be expected I guess.

My life is almost the same. We work, we laugh, we go to school, we read until our heads explode and then the next day we repeat the whole thing again. 

Work is becoming more and more fun though. Honestly. Same people as always, just the ones that are really great to be around are there more often. And it's super fun. Especially when you stay for a beer after the shift. And then it goes. You even plan half of your future, create babies and give them names. Almost divide house works between the two. 

I never thought I will meet so many and so great people in the working place. 
Some of them, who leaves for better places, say they'll miss me. 
And I know I'll miss them too.

My potential homeless days are over. Or almost over. 
For the 40 days starting with 1st of June I will become a part au-pair. Yes, I know, you can stop laughing. But I will live in a nice area of the city in a nice place and I will save up on rent, which is expensive in this city. Then I will have 8 days of homelessness [but hopefully my friends will allow to crash on their couches. And then I will have a dorm room, all to myself. Cheap. So I'm happy. And I'm settled until the February of the next year. It is not too bad, I have to say.

And I'm learning. Tax Havens, BEPS, taxes and all of the stuff I need to learn. And not to forget. At least as long as I'm not done. 

Off Topic

I honestly did not plan it this time. But I'm coming back. It will be a little weird. And it will probably hurt a little. But then again, I think for as long as we shall live, it will always hurt a little.

Funny how sometimes circumstances are the ones to blame. 
Not without our help of course. But still.

A little regret.

Just like a big smile appears on my face every time we talk and that's not often. It's been almost 9 years. And it seems like it was just yesterday.
I think of you as a friend as well.

No bad memories. Only good ones. Together with the well known fact it's not completely over. Not at least to half of the party. 

It's a shame you did not know that from the start. 

The casino at the end of the world misses me. You don't bring nearly enough of highest bets. Even though you are still stuck there. Good luck. I'll raise a glass.

13 May 2014

°Nesting trombones°

Days are passing by very fast when the only things on your schedule are work and sleep. Any free minute you feel like you want to give to yourself. Just for a little rest. Stupid, nothing to amount to, movie or same old TV show that never fails to make you laugh.

That was kind of me recently. I don’t know where that time went. I woke up this morning and it was already the 13th. I’ve been working.

And last week I was working in Eurovision. While the first few days were really alright and not too hard to handle, the last one was … a challenge. 16 hour shift was followed by a few beer right there in the same tent we were serving regular and VIP person. It was so much fun. Everyone was really tired and very happy. Mainly because it was over. Some – because of the winner.

Me. I have my own favourite. And it wasn’t the bearded woman. And not because of the beard. Because of the song. I know and many people do, I guess, that Eurovision is not about the song. It hardly ever was. Sure, song makes an impact, but that is not the only factor. Politics, immigration, You name it. However I do not understand this whole `news of the day` thing. So, a drag queen got on the stage, sang a song [it’s your own choice to like the song or not] and had a beard on. So what? Since when this is news? How come now, that it appeared in Eurovision, is suddenly a big deal? There are plenty of drag queens in the world. Many men, since old days, dressed up as women for the shows, no one cared. Now, suddenly, it’s an issue. People are weird.

On the other hand, great marketing strategy. Very well done. Everyone talks about it.

And I just got back to the same old same old. Working, reading articles and looking for a place to stay. Which is very tiring and even more making me depressed. I am seriously starting to think about going away somewhere. Spain maybe? Just lock myself out somewhere in the middle of nowhere with internet and write. Just like that. At least I wouldn’t need to look for a place to live.

So exhausting.

°°You’re gonna wake up
It’s only a dream
And why do dreams make people scream°°

Off topic

I’m lost. Not sure what I do, what for or why.

I feel alone. And I think I enjoy it. It makes me feel a little strange. And scared.
Looks like I am screaming in the dreams.
This is why.
Now I get it.

°°You’re not alone…

What if it’s all in one kiss
That turns all seeds into trees
The strongest wind into breeze

Enter all doors without keys°°