Once again, I forgot to write. Well, to be honest, I did not forget. I just had simply too many things on my hands. And in my head. The world is spinning, my head is too and the worst thing is.. I cannot say it out loud. Not because of me. But because of you. And you. And, sadly enough, even you.
I’ve been working a lot. Here and there. Every single day. It was a non stop marathon where at moments I thought I cannot. But still I could. Well, is there any way to escape though?
My last shift in the conference center was great. It was long hours, tiring and kind of hard at moments, but great people to work with and all those last hugs were worth it all. I ended up bringing some cake to the Dubliner’s staff [which they said they liked] at the end.
And then Monika got older! I was a little late for her party, because I had to work [but of course]. Still, I managed to get a mojito, meet some new people, dance, laugh and talk and congratulate her on this very special occasion.
And then there was the Dubliner. Long hours during and after the shifts.
And then there was Christmas shopping. Some on-line, some on-real-way, like a normal people do. The good part was – I had a great company, so it wasn’t so terrible. We walked around all those shops, making fun of things and looking for toys to play. We ended up having fancy dinner out [well, fancy to me, since I don’t do that] with beer. The time just flew. I realized there and then how much I miss that. Small little things, but the ones that you enjoy.
I even managed to get to the post office finally and send those few [way too little, but it’s get harder and harder with all of the technologies and people using e-mails instead of mails] postcards and that one little package, that I can only hope will make that person smile. Nothing else, just as promised. Just a smile.
And that is, let’s say, it. It’s killing me at points when I cannot share few details. But that is how it is.
Christmas in Denmark is over. No more snow, all melted and is gone. Rain is reminding still that we are still in the cold season, but there is no more magical white things falling from the sky. And in two days I am heading to the airport and going back to Lithuania. Just a few days, but hopefully I will be able to see snow, feel snow, walk out path with Inga, drink glogg with Goda, share talks in the balcony with Ieva, share… well, everything with Simona, meet Wycka.. And others, that I miserably failed to mention, of course. Well, who is counting anyways?
Somehow I let you back in. And you seem very much into it. Of course, you are getting annoyed, because I am not the same, but can you blame me? It’s been one day before the full moon and you know what full moon does to me.
I had a perfect dream you know. Well, not perfect dream, but the perfect guy. And the way we felt and we way we were was so perfect, that I did not want to wake up. I was REALLY in love. Now I only need to find him.
You are walking the blade. You are dancing on a thin ice. And this is your choice. My only question is.. why am I letting you drag me together? That ship has sailed, this one won’t. But we are able to definitely crack it seriously. I know it’s time to press the logic button, but somehow it seems stuck.
Just like in that song, that was never sang out loud: `you need to start loving your girl more. And soon`.
And there it is.. That little bite, that is ripping it out. I don’t want this, but I have no saying in it. And I’d do anything to change it, but I can’t. it’s not my fault and it’s not my problem, somehow still, it feels like it’s my responsibility. Which is silly. And yet again.. I was never really smart.
Smile. Because I want to have your picture. Please?