Chapter eleven (!!!): Aotearoa and it's magical powers.

I've sunk in. I came to New Zealand and I forgot everything [except you]. The regular world ceased to exist, only the limitless beauty and excitement of this magical land. It took me a total of a few hours and despite not so great weather I knew that this is the land I want to live in. Sure, just like every other place in the world, it has it's own problems and issues, but the nature, the people.. 

It almost makes me leave my negative and angry personality behind the closed port and come back to being a positive person some people still remember I am capable of being.

Everywhere you go, there's nature and smiling people. Making small talk, smiling at you, sharing their advice and experiences, dealing with the world so beautifully, you cannot help but feel envy. It simply is amazing.

*             *                *

Off Topic

I've reached the moment of a wrapping regret. Well not regret per say, but a moment of realization, sad reality that I cannot have it all and I will not be able to have it all. I was walking around Wanaka in an "almost raining" kind of weather listening to Regina Spektor's "All the rowboats" and almost literally could feel my body open up and me, the real me, that little girl, full of anxious wish to travel and never settle, came out of the shell of a body I have been torturing with numerous tracking days. I want to be free, yet those days are now counted. Literally too, I have a countdown app on my phone that gently informs me how much time I got left. I made the decision to give up freedom all by myself, freely and I know it is not the wrong decision, I've given it a lot of thought. I know what is waiting for me is so good, it almost make me choke on that thought, but I still cannot help but wonder.. "Don't date a girl who travels <..> and if you fall in love with one, let her go"

It seems that this mindset should take me to the casino at the end of the world, but I am nowhere near it. Casino has been deserted for a while, no one daring or even being curious enough to step in. Instead I am in a field of perennials, surrounded by the sun kissed purple, pink and yellow blossoms and I have an urge to fly.

But this will probably fade away just as soon as I realize that this flight will never take me back to my happy place, so I just collapse my wings instead.

This still is not the end of my story.

*             *                  *

If he really loves you, he will let you wear a white dress.

.Chapter ten: Do one thing that scares you, every day: The majestic Annapurna.

Kids, do what I did. Go trek the Annapurna. Circuit or Base camp or any of them, really. The mountains are breathtaking and it's not that difficult [not until you hit the high altitudes anyways]. 

So after Goris I got back to Yerevan, same hostel, same city. I met my newly found Ukrainian/Canadian friend and we enjoyed one last day of the beers and talking.

The next day I went to a monastery, one of the oldest ones in the world where some saint was locked in the basement for 13 years or so some long time ago. This is where I experienced how kind and hospitable people can be without wanting anything from you. They gave me hope again that maybe not everyone wants something from me. I took a bus that dropped me off on a side of the road and I still had to walk about 6 kilometers to the monastery. Half way after walking on a motor road I took a side path through the wineries and this is where it happened. I saw a bunch of grape pickers having lunch and said hello. They said hello back and insisted I joined them for lunch. They gave me everything - bread, cheese, grapes, you name it. They also made me take pictures with them and we agreed I will send them to them later that day. I just left them and no more then 10 minutes later another group of grape pickers called me in for a lunch as well. I wasn't hungry, but it is almost impossible to say no. They gave me even more food and even more food to take with. I had a full bag of food and great, so full that is broke in the end.

I finally made my way to the monastery, walked around and started walking back. One of the groups I had lunch with stopped with their van and gave me a ride back to the road where I then waited for the bus and got back to Yerevan.

The next day I got on a plane and flew to Dubai. Dubai was never high on my list for a visit, but since I have a friend living there and I was flying through it anyways, I decided to spend a few days there. It was better than I expected, but then again, because of people, not because of the concrete jungle you face when you get there. 

We walked in the old town, visited gold market [where they do not sell gold bars, so disappointing], we refreshed with ice coffees, visited Abu Dhabi's huge mosque, walked a little in the city center, walked the Marina back in Dubai, talked and caught up a lot. It's been two days only, but it's been a nice break from a usual backpacking kind of life style. 

And then there was Kathmandu. Completely different vibe from Dubai as you can probably expect. Full of people, full of traffic, lots of dirt and sand and trash all around. It took me a while to go through the passport control and visa dealing and once I was out I had to take a taxi to the hostel. I spent two days in Kathmandu trying not to die in the insane traffic they have here, getting permits for the trek, buying sleeping bag and other stuff I will need for the trek. I even met this guy in a hostel who decided he wanted to join me for the Annapurna circuit trek and after two days of the heavy air in the capital, we took a bus to Besishahar where we started the trek.

The bus ride was supposed to be around 6 hours, but it took us 12. Apparently someone decided to make some construction work the night before without telling anyone and so we were stuck in an enormous traffic jam in Kathmandu for 4-5 hours. So once we got in, it was already dark and too late to start the trek, plus it was raining, so we just ran to the first "hotel" we could see and called it a night. There were five of us there - me, US guy I met who decided to join me, two dutch guys and an obnoxious and annoying German girl who ditched her guide half way through the bus ride, for the single reason of: "well, no one else in a bus have a guide, so..". The next day dutch guys took a jeep, as they were short with time and the three of us started our walk where I was determined to ditch the German girl at out earliest convenience. I know what you are thinking - and it's not just me who disliked her. Everyone wanted to get rid of her. Good thing she decided to ditch herself the first day, when we wanted to continue and she wanted to stay in the village we reached at around 2.30 p.m.

We did 4 long first days, walking 20+ kilometers each day and going up to Manang which lays at 3500 meters elevation. It was tiring, but good four days, as you start in the hot weather, jungle kind of scenery full of rice fields and sun and heat, slowly moving to more rocky landscapes with the snowy peaks of Annapurna 2, 3 and 4. It was a good workout, but not impossible. Like I say, if I can do it, everyone can.

In Manang, due to the altitude and because it was intense days, we took a rest day, doing basically nothing. All I managed that day is to buy a hat, a cable for my phone and read my book. It was a good day and well needed rest as after that, the altitude started to kick in.

The next two days we were walking slowly, ascending modestly and walking only 3-4 hours a day. I was terrified and paranoid about the altitude sickness that I had in Bolivia, so I was very keen on going as slow as possible. The last day before the pass, we got to Thorong Pedi, the place at around 4600 meters in altitude, but decided to climb up to the High Camp just so the bodies can get used to it. I got a throbbing headache due to the altitude and even though it disappeared towards the end of the day, I was afraid that if it comes back, I may need to do another rest day and acclimatize better before going to the pass. 

The night was sleepless and I did wake up with a headache, but seeing how it wasn't terrible, we took off at 6 a.m. And these next 5 kilometers and 1 kilometer in altitude were the hardest in the trip. We were ascending slowly and painfully, with each step trying to catch our breaths. We met some girls from Israel, one of them having worse AMS than me [mine was still just a headache] and it made me feel a little better about myself - maybe I can do this after all? So we slowly walked those 5 kilometers in 4.5 hours when we saw that big sign of "congratulations, you are at the Thorong La pass, altitude 5416" and suddenly adrenaline took over, we forgot the tiredness and headaches and enjoyed our 10 minutes fame on the pass. 

After that - big decent down, quite steep and really not so good for the knees. This is where my trekking partner got a really bad knee, so instead of a planned place to sleep, we picked the first village we found and the next day we separated ways - I kept walking and he took a bus to Pokhara. It was a wise thing to do - knees are not a joke.

I walked for two days, going about 25 kilometers a day until I came one of the lowest spots in the trek - Tatopani, a village full of people who are trekking Annapurnas or Poonhill. Good thing would have been to take a rest day there, but I kind of wanted to finish, so I decided against it. The next day - 2 kilometers elevation to the almost top of the Poonhill was painful. Both mentally and physically, but I made it in good time, got myself a place to sleep and promised myself I will go those extra 300 meters to the top of the hill for the sunrise and the views. It wasn't the best sunset I have seen, but it was definitely worth a climb. 

Shortly after that and breakfast I went down - again 2 kilometers in the altitude and man, that is no good for the legs.. It is doable though and it is doable in one day as I started around 8 a.m. and I was in a bus to Pokhara already at 2.15 p.m. 

The bus ride would be short if roads were of at least normal shape, but they aren't. So it took us I think 2.5 hours to drive 40 kilometers or so before I was dropped off on the side of the road and went to my hostel. In Pokhara, and I am not ashamed to say this, I did nothing for two days. My legs felt wooden and I was tired and I needed some rest and time to regain my strength. I could have made one of few small treks up the temple, but I decided against it. I have already been to Annapurna, I have already trekked for 13 days, I have had enough for this time. 

And here I am now, back in Kathmandu, doing the things I have to prepare myself for the next steps of my trip. I applied for Australian visa, still afraid of buying tickets in case something goes wrong, I sent a package home with some trekking gear and some gifts for the family, I walked around the busy Kathmandu and enjoy their many delicious foods and I am planning/researching my next destinations of secretly craving for a McDonald's burger. 

I have done it. Annapurna circuit was on top of my list for a very long time. My fear, if I can make it or not was fully alive with me the whole time and kept me from thinking about anything else. But I have done it and I have done it in good time. I feel like I can be proud of myself and I feel that I can keep going. It may have started for the wrong reasons, but it ended in a best possible mindset. I am free and I am happy. 

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OFF Topic

I have spoken about the Casino at the end of the world recently, but my mind did not wander there, feeling like you are trapped at the roulette table, programmed to lose. I feel like I have distanced myself from it. Not intentionally, it just so happened. I am starting to believe that maybe, I am an exception, after all. 

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.Chapter Nine: The rest of Georgia and the lovely Armenia.

Kids, do not do what I did. Do not take a seat next to a child in an overnight train. The child WILL perform a projectile vomiting on parents, floor, bedding.. I could go on. But kids, do what I did and book a place to stay in advance when crossing the border. You never know when border patrol will ask for your reservation confirmation.

So, Kutaisi had the best place to stay that you could expect. Absolutely loved it, all thanks to FORREST guesthouse. Lovely hosts, super cheap, good location, nice food... I could go on. Once there you kind of don't want to go anywhere to explore anything, you just want to cozy sit there and sip your cup of tea [or wine]. 

There is not much to do in Kutaisi itself: small old town, nice central park, few churches, lots of shops - I walked it all on my first day. The second day I have visited two monasteries that were outside the city [but still close by to get a marshrutka for 1 GEL - 33 EUR cents]. It has beautiful landscape, even if not as exciting as Svaneti for example, but they really are working with what they have. In the evening we had a dinner and wine with Nick, as this was his last night in Europe, he is off to Australia to do a 5-6 weeks walk [good luck, Nick!]

On the second day I went to the Prometheus cave. Nothing to do with actual Prometheus, they just named it like that so more tourists would come. No joke - our guide actually told us that. Anyways, the cave was nice - I probably seen better in my life, but it was very well kept and organized that it made it easy to walk around and enjoy all the stalactites and stalagmites [and the third ones I always forget]. Once back in the hostel I have met three Czechs that came to Kutaisi and later on a Polish girl came back from her trip. We ended up having a nice discussion and evening together, I even made the Czechs to change their mind and do a Mestia-Ushguli trek instead of just taking a car to Mestia and then later to Ushguli. I tried to get them all the information they may need and they seemed very impressed by me (you should be a guide AND you are incredibly brave woman AND so on). Lovely people, indeed.

The next day they all went to the same cave I was just last day and I took marshrutka to Batumi. Batumi reminded me both of Palanga and Odessa and other similar beachy place, mostly for Russians. It was so full of Russians that almost no one spoke any other languages. I spent two days there doing not much - wondering around, swimming in the sea, sitting in a park reading a book or taking pictures of the lovers statue that is supposed to be a moving statue, but of course, it was broken at the time I was there. Brilliant. 

Then I took an overnight train to Yerevan. Yes, the same one where the kid performed a projectile vomiting. Good thing she did not vomit on a border patrol or there would have been a price to pay. 

And then Yerevan. I walked most of it in one day. Little stroll through the city center, to the cascades [no one told me there are lifts, so I was climbing the stairs, like a regular person], to the main monument [something about the Soviets, but cannot really remember what] and to the amusement park that also has mother of Armenians there. The girl from the free tour in Tbilisi explained a little bit about this mother - she has a sword, but is keeping it in her hands. She is facing Turkey as if saying: I will not attack, but I will defend myself and my people. Little different approach to the Georgian that brings you wine or Russian one in Volgograd which is going to fight anyone and anything.

The second day I got myself a Canadian friend and we went to the monastery and an old temple [kind of like two day trips, we just combined into one]. She was a lot of fun, and we had a great day, but it started with a bus driver shouting at us, since we were making too much noise "quacking like chickens" and what not. It did not dampen our day, just made us laugh all the more. We got back to the hostel tired, but my new found friend wanted to cook so much, that we just bought some vegetables and made our own food that night. It was a really good food, I just need not to forget how to make it before I head back to a country of staying. But here another funny thing happened - this Iranian guy came to us - what is this? No meat? OK, one portion for me. And walked away. I mean we don't mind to share, but ask, maybe?? Anyways, in the end we gave him a portion and then some time later his wife comes: and where is mine? Well we did not give her anything. We had food, but there was a principal involved - you do not come and request. Never again!

Next day I left my new found friend and took a long trip to Goris in marshrutka. Once I came here, it greeted me with mists and later on rain. All I managed to do that day is to do a quick block around the center, food shopping and go home before it started pouring rain. So that went well.. But the next day weather seemed to have improved a little bit and I took a day trip to the village close by - where people used to live in the caves that they built up into houses. It was a little walk down through those caves, through the old church to a swinging loooong bridge, then up some stairs for the point view and back. It was an interesting experience and a good trek, even though I do prefer going up first, then down later. Back in Goris I did a similar walk in the "old Goris", basically the same kind of place, where people used to live in the caves, except this walk starts in a cemetery and that is a weird place. I used to think they give way too much space for that in Lithuania, but here you get a huge places, where you can put the entire family of maybe 16 in one spot. Plus on the stones they like to put how people looked like, with all kinds of details, for example cigarette in their hand. Clearly that is very important for the people visiting the cemetery to know that this particular person who died was smoking. 

And then the last daty in Goris I took a taxi to the longest aerial tramway in the world and rode it to Tatev. In Tatev I did a hike [first down then up, the type I dislike, but there was no other option] to and old old church towards the Devil's bridge and once back in Tatev I also visited their monastery, the place that most people went there for [a big mistake, if you ask me - the old church in the valley that is broken, but also empty from tourists is quite fascinating and in my opinion much more worth visiting than the other].

And here I am, contemplating if I deserve a dinner out tonight or not. I probably do - since I walked to much and did not complain. I saw some Gorisian food restaurant that is supposed to be cheap and good, so let me see what they got there.

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Off Topic

I am sitting here, in my casino at the end of the world, watching the life quietly happening. You are sitting so close, that not enough I see your cards, I can also see your eyelashes moving by the air conditioning created wind. You bid on me - all you had, you bid on me. Why? No one's ever done that, yet here you are, placing the highest bid without so much as a concerned frown. Who are you, stranger and why? Do you know something I am missing?

Some passing figures catch my eye, disturbing me from focusing on the game at our table. But as casino is not paying attention to them, I start to see their insignificance. They even seem to melt away. I'm focusing on this hand - I am not letting casino at the end of the world to win this time. 

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.Chapter eight: The wonders of Sakartvelo.

Kids, don't do what I did. Do not book a hostel with great reviews for a very cheap price. You will end up in the place where shower is not being cleaned for at least three days and your breakfast will not arrive because a guy who is working there was drinking until 7 a.m. and simply did not wake up to make it for you.

Sakartvelo [or Georgia, if you will] is a beautiful country, full of things to offer. On my second day in Sighnaghi I went on a wine tour with a Chinese guy from my guest house. We visited three different wineries, tasted don't know how many different wines and chachas, went to a monastery and a lake to cool down. By the time we got back, it was already time for a late dinner which we ate and called it a night - drinking wine all day gets you somewhat tired.

The next on the list - Tbilisi and it did not disappoint. An interesting capital, mix of modern and old, soviet and classic, nature and buildings. I have spent three days wondering around, visiting castle, the statue of Mother of Georgians, endless old town streets. It is really hard to describe this city, you simply have to visit it and experience what it is made of. And it is made of lots of good foods, pretty views, parks and museums. 

Three days passed really quickly and then it was my first meeting of Georgian mountains - I went to the big Mr. Kazbegi. I didn't climb this mister, I do not have enough experience or wish to do so. On the first day, since I only came in the afternoon the only thing I visited was a mineral water spring and a pool next to it. But later in a day I made a new friend, Dutch guy living in the Kiwi land for a long time, and in the evening we went out for dinner and there I made even more friends. So the next day my two new friends and I went to see the glacier. Website said that the trek was challenging and my two new friends have been climbing for way longer than I am, so I was just hoping not to die. It was a quite steep climb of 1600 meters elevation [and then we had to go down, of course]. I survived! But it took us around 9 hours in total, but we did add the little church on a hill to it and my new found friends told me I did very good for an inexperienced trekker. Me and Andre [one of my new found friends] went for a well deserved beer after the trek and then in the evening we again met up with the rest for the dinner. Next day in Kazbegi I have decided to visit a Truso valley. It was supposed to be an easy stroll walk kind of a thing of 22 kilometers and beautiful views. The valley delivered. The first part of it may have been a little boring, but once you get around the corner.. Man, it is beautiful. And to top it off at the end of it there is an old ruined fortress where two armed guys will stop you and will tell you: no go, further - border. 

After Kazbegi, just like everyone else, I also went back to Tbilisi. There I have managed to go visit the Tbilisi sea [but not in a perfect beach weather so it was only OK], public sulfur bath [note - if you are a woman DO NOT go to the public one, or else you will end up with several older Russian fattish ladies, where one of them will shave her ..mmm.. right there] and took a free walking tour, just because I thought I was missing a lot from the old town. Turns out - I did not. I visited most of the places by myself already before, but it was very useful to hear what is what and listen to more details about the things. 

And then it was finally time for my "big" walk, so test myself before I go and die while trying to walk Annapurna circuit - the famous Mestia-Ushguli walk in Svaneti area for 4 days. First I took a bus to Mestia, got myself into a hostel and spend a half lazy day, reading a book, shopping for the snacks for the tomorrow's hike, meeting with Nick for dinner and going to sleep at a fairly early hour. I have started my walk very early in the morning and probably I shouldn't have - for several reasons. First of all, I finished that day's walk at 12.15, and second of all, because I have managed to meet a Georgian old fat creep who tried to hug me [and not let go] and kiss me and so on an so forth. And we were in the middle of a trek, no people or houses around. That definitely put a damper on my walk and views. If that wasn't enough, a dog decided to harass me as well. I did not have a great first day. But, on the other hand, the views were amazing, the day was clear and sunny and once I finished with the day, I had all that time to read my book. And I spent evening with Nick and new found friends - couple from Israel.

The second day I have walked by myself again - I feel like I kind of need that in order to let my mind wander and take it's own course. It was a short, but fairly steep in climbing day, but I have managed to finish it before everyone else again and settled in the guest house waiting for the others. The night was really cold though, so in the end I went to bed at a super early hour.

On the third day we went off all together, walked a very beautiful valley up until the point where we had to cross a river. Two options - barefoot in freezing water or horse. I took a horse. I am afraid of those things, but barefoot with all my things on my back in a strong stream just did not sound like a great idea. Then we had to climb a hill which presented super views from the top. Too bad we did not have much time to enjoy them, as the cloud came on us and it started raining [with hail I may add]. So we rushed to go down as fast as we could without falling. At the bottom the sun was shinning again and then there was only a nice walk in the valley again. We split our ways there, going to different guest houses. And that night, as the sky was super clear, I have seen the most amazing sky, full of stars and clearly identifiable Milky Way in my entire life.

On the last day of the walk I reached Ushguli, a village full with one-day tourists as well and settled in the most homey guest house there is. They invited me to sit with them, gave me food [for free] and chacha [I should have said no, but they are very persistent that you drink]. The lady of the house was constantly working, but always with the smile on her face. I really enjoyed my stay there. 

And now, today, as the rain keeps pouring down, all I managed was to sit in a car [waiting for more people to go to Mestia] for few hours, then take a ride to Mestia and sit down in the hostel. There is no point going outside, because there is no outside. It's only rain and clouds and mist and more rain. 

This marks the end of my affair with Georgian mountains. Tomorrow I am off to Kutaisi, then Batumi and then, fingers crossed, directly to Yerevan. Let's see what life brings. 

.Chapter Seven: The rest of country of Fire and a glimpse at the Love city.

Kids, travelling very lightweight comes at a price. Once you lose something or something breaks, you feel a great loss for it right away. I had both. I wasn't feeling very comfortably when rejecting my taxi driver's suggestion to go to some place, spend a night there and only next day go to Ganja (weird, right?), so when I was rushed to a bus that goes to Baku I accidentally forgot my water bottle in his taxi. From that moment on until the moment I bought a new one, I felt like something was missing. Just like my necklace thingie, except that I got a tattoo for that, so I never truly really lose it anymore. Also, just my luck, but on the second day of my being in Ganja, my phone decided to stop working. It got stuck in the boot loop and as much as I tried to do for it, I was out of my own league there. 

I got lucky, but it did cost me half a day in Ganja. I first searched for a mobile phones fixing place and simultaneously for a new phone, then I left my phone with some guys for a few hours and the outcome, quite satisfying - I got my phone back, it was working, but everything in it was gone. No time to grief when you are on a road, so I took it as a big girl - shit happens and for mere 20 EUR I was happy to have my keyboard friendly phone working again.

That only left me a little time to explore the rest of Ganja, so I headed for a big park a bit on a side of a center. It's quite nice, once you go through the shitty part of it. There I've been stopped by this park guard [how you call them, again?], who was very excited to learn that I am from Lithuania and that he has friends there, because of the army times in Soviet Union. I took a bus back to the center, because the walking scenery wasn't that exciting and I figured - to hell with it. The buses in here has a bit of a different approach - you get on and you only pay when you leave. I was up in my own head I guess that when I left I completely forgot to pay. The driver did nothing though [still wondering why]. I remembered almost immediately and jumped back on a bus, said my sorry'ies, made the whole bus laughed, paid and got off again. It was a good day, still. I mean, I got my phone back and in working conditions.

The next stop was Sheki. A small town close to Georgian border, but apparently very nice. I am not sure, maybe I was in a bad mood or timing, but it did not look too nice to me. I have good time though, I visited a palace, an Albanian church, walked up and down the old town, here and there, stayed in an amazing place I will most definitely have to recommend on booking.com. On my second night the owner took me for a beer that turned into dinner and a lovely evening, so I really cannot complain, but it still was missing something..

And today I took my ride to Georgia. It was a bumpy ride, I have to say. First I needed to get to another town, where I got a very persistent old creep trying to talk to me, telling me he loves me and I should stay with him, how he will do anything, how he will buy me everything I want and how I should NOT get on that bus. It got me to a point where I was simply imagining kicking his head again and again and again. Once again, I am in a foreign country where men have the upper hand, I am in no position to tell him to fuck off and just go die already. 

The border crossing went fine and then my bus dropped me off somewhere, since I wasn't yet going to Tbilisi, but rather to Sighnaghi [better known as Love city]. I left, took my stuff, checked my map which said I would be walking far and up, so I figured I will try to get a cab. There were no cabs seen around, so I just started walking. I got really lucky, because a taxi guy with someone already in it beeped and took me in. For mere less than 2 EUR he took me to the center, very close to my hostel and I could not be more grateful for him.

Sighnaghi is very small, but I understand why it is called a Love city - it is a very cute and picturesque town with a fortress, lots of wines and even more small cozy streets to stroll in. I walked almost if all before I took a little break. I was on my way out when an owner of my hostel told me he will give a glass of wine for me [his own, I couldn't possibly said no]. Before I knew it, I got two, one red, one white and so I just sat there, enjoying the view, reading my book and drinking a quite delicious wine. I am definitely liking this Love town and so far, only the great impressions of Georgia. Way to go!

             *              *                *

Being in Love or being in the Love city - everyone should try it at least once. One or the other. Best both. 

Love. Sometimes Love just isn't enough. And sometimes.. Love is al you ever going to need to keep going. 

          *                *                 *

.Chapter Six: The eternal magic of the land of fire - Azerbaijan.

Kids, don’t do what I did. Do not fly with Ukrainian International Airlines and do not fly from Lviv airport.
First they would not have any of those resealable bags for liquids to take or to buy and information did
not seem to care. If you don’t have it, tough luck. Then they would not let you board the plane with
trekking poles and force you to buy an expensive last minute check-in baggage, which by the way takes
forever [I think I had to wait for about 40 minutes in a queue of total maybe 5 people]. On top of that,
of course they were late, baggage was very slow and they broke one piece of my pole (still functions
fully, so at least I have that going for me), which is, of course, my own responsibility [somehow].

And then Baku. Oh, Baku, you magnificient beast! I have learned from my mistake of Kiev airport
struggles to find a way to get to my hostel that this time I booked a “shuttle”, which is really just a fancy
way of saying that I had a pre-called taxi waiting for me. Shout out to the driver, because he was nice,
but did not speak [I am not big on small talk] and let me enjoy my ride. Baku surprised me, because i
nstead of all sorts of nothing I was almost blinded by the lights. Skyscrapper here, skyscrapper there,
futuristic looking building here, some huge building other there. It did not look like Azerbaijan I was
expecting, more like one of the Arabic cities, like Dubai [never been, sure, but will be in a month, will
compare].

The next day I head out to see this wonder called Baku. It is impressing! I walked the huge very nicely
and tidy kept boulevard along the coast line, I checked out the old town, which reminded me a bit of
Turkey but was also very cute and in the end I went to the Heydar Aliyev Center, an arts sorf of place
with temporary exhibitions and very nice park right next to it.

On my way home I passed by the market, bought some tomatoes and cucumbers and made myself
one of the better tasting salad ever [or maybe I was just hungry? No, tomatoes were very super juicy
and full of taste]. I went to bed quite early then. The heat and the flying and coming in the town late made
me kind of tired.

The next day was not my day. It’s been three weeks on a road and today for the first time (on this trip I
may add, just to make it NOT sound too optimistic), some old creep tried to “feel me”. Way to go
Azerbaijan! Okay, I am being too harsh. Normally Azeri people were nothing but nice to me. My shuttle
from the airport was nothing is not a sweetheart. He did not try to engage in small talk, just drove the
speed limit and smiled when saying goodbye. Another guy paid for my ticket in a bus, because I did not
have a card I needed to have. Even today [jumping ahead of time], I sat next to a couple on a bench
[separate bench, but close by], so I said hello and started reading a book. A guy went away for a minute
and came back with three cold drinks - for him and his girlfriend and me. No asking money, no nothing,
he just from his own nicety bought me a drink, because it was a hot day. I did not know these people
existed! But anyways, the creep. I was in a bus and he sat next to me, normal. Then I was thinking that
he is keeping his hand oddly between him and me, that cannot be uncomfortable, still did not think
anything of it. But it’s a bumpy ride and that hand keeps moving [as we all are]. I thought I felt him
trying to touch me, but I may have been wrong [you are not going to start accusing people if you
are not sure, right?]. But I kept me eyes on him. The second time he did that I looked at his face,
he was pretending to be sleeping, of course, the fucker. Third time it was going to happen, I was
gonna slap his hand or say something [even if this is not my country and men definitely have
priority over women here], no old farting creep will touch me. But luckily for him [or me], he got
off at the next stop.

Unfortunately my bad luck with creeps did not end there. Another weirdo, young one sat next to me on
a bench in a park while I was reading a book and first started talking about his family, then how much
he likes me and loves me and how much he wants to kiss. And how he likes older woman. What is it
about me, that makes creeps think: this one, I will harrass this one?

Anyways, besides that, my day was pretty OK. In the morning I went to Gobustan, a place with ancient
pictures on the rocks [dating about 40k years before today]. It was nice, but I definitely expected it to be
better. In the afternoon I went to a carpet museum [yes, carpet]. It was interesting, since Azeris are very
famous for their hand made carpets, and I learned that kilim [kilimas in Lithuanian] is just a type of carpet,
not ALL of the carpets. Apparently. Not sure how the rest would be called.

In the evening I found a friend! A german guy, who is younger than me, and very talkative, but he likes
beer, so we spent the whole evening just sitting in a balcony talking talking talking over the beers. With
other people in hostel being from China [language barrier], or muslim/arabic countries [views differences],
we really hit it off.

Third and my last day in Baku I mainly spent in a bus. Well, many buses, but kept riding back and forth.
There are quite a few things to see not far from Baku, but you need to go to Koroglu metro station, there
is a bus station for rural areas on that side of Baku and you then take a bus to your destination. Then you
go back and take another bus, to another of your desired destinations. This is what I did. First destination
- fire temple. It’s an old’ish hindu temple with the fire burning in the middle of it. It’s not “to die for”, but it’s
nice. There I met four guys from the hostel, so we headed back to Koroglu and from there took another
bus to some castle. We were going through oil fields which you are not allowed to take pictures of [and
which we of course did], and unpleasant surprise when we got there - it was closed. But soon enough the
guy shows up with a key, let’s us in for around 6 EUR, locks the gate again, gives us a key and tell us to
enjoy. We did. We climbed the wall and we climbed the tower [not very safe both, but we managed not to
scrape any knees or necks] and then headed back. Two guys took off and the rest of us went to the “fire
mountain” or how to call that place, where there is about 10 meters length of burning fire coming just out
of the mountain. Again, not something to DIE for, but interesting enough. And the evening once again, I
spent with my new found german friend in a balcony talking until maybe 1a.m.

The next destination - Quba. I have been hearing many good things about it and honestly - it’s all crap.
It’s nothing special that Quba [maybe for it’s thousands of types of apples it is, but now is not the season
and so it is not]. But I did not know that so I went. I got there and got a taxi driver offer me a place at his
house [a separate room that they rent]. It was a quite old and poor house and I kind of felt bad for the
people, but what can I do? Otherwise they really reminded me of a Lithuanian village, where man works
and at home he gets served tea and food and does nothing else and woman does everything around the
house.

So in Quba I saw a synagogue, two mosques, an old hamam and a park [nicely made and clean, I
have to say]. The next day I have hired the same taxi driver to take me to Khinaliq. This place is not
very special, but it is interesting village in the mountains. The drive to there and from there is spectacular
though. Mountains green, mountains red, mountains white.. Amazing.

After my exploring of Quba and Khinaliq was over, I took of back to Baku, bought myself a ticket to
Ganja [yes, that is the name of the city, I am not joking] for an overnight train, walked a little around
Baku one more time, had some food and took off. In the train I met this Azerbaijani mother and daughter
in my plackart room that was very impressed by me travelling alone. On top of that she made her own
and her daughter’s bed, plus helped me [as if I couldn’t] and even made a bed for a man who was with
us [she did not know him, she’s just done it]. I mean, seriously, where are these kind generous people
coming from??

And now in Ganja. I have spent my morning with a book in a park because I felt it was too early to go
into hostel. Then I had some breakfast [really filled me up, probably going back there tomorrow], and
managed to walk the main attractions in a few hours. So tomorrow, I am guessing, I will be doing even
more of reading my book and not much else. Unless, of course, I will find some friends.

       *       * *

Off Topic

The casino at the end of the world seems deserted. Well not totally, there are still a few gamblers there
who are not really understanding what they are doing and expecting to win big, but I am only observing
them from the distance. I don’t even have the usual desire to go in and gamble with my life. I think I’m
done. I still have a few tokens up my sleeve, surely, but aren’t we all? If anything, the casino can cease
to exist right now and I would not miss it. I would probably think about it now and again, but once you
don’t lose when you bid your highest bet, certain things become insignificant. Or at least foggy.

       *      *   *

Chapter Five: Blown away by Ukraine

Kids, don't do what I did. Do not head for a hike, when you are only assuming that the whole tour group is going on it. The track might be unmarked, you might run out of time and you may need to literally run just to make the time for your bus. I survived of course, because I had maps.me app with the track on it, fast legs and some nice 3-toothed old guy who pointed me to the right direction, but so many wrong things could have happened...

Ukraine. Western Ukraine - definitely delivered.

I left Moldova after one last night hanging out with real people and enjoyed it to the bits, oh man, those are some great, even if a little crazy people. The 22 year old Dutch guy was my favourite - we bonded over cheap hipster kind of people and certain topics that should have never been elaborated. When this Indian guy started talking about girls dressing sleeveless tops and how they should not expect to be raped, so my kind of under my nose "should I start?" he just said "no" under his breath. This is the kind of people I want to round myself with for the future.

Anyways, I left Moldova to get back to Ukraine. In my mini bus I met this older architect guy who knew Lithuania quite well, because he was there a few times during Soviet times for work. It was hard to communicate with my rusty Russian, but nevertheless, it was interesting to listen to his stories. I came to Chernivtsi and that city blew me away. Such rich history and architecture. If you ever in doubt, don't anymore - go ahead and visit it. Nice small streets full of people and amazing buildings, plus a very helpful walking tour on a map - it was definitely one of the better places I have visited so far. I spent two and a half days there, and I did not get bored not even a little bit.

But I had to leave it to go to Lviv and I really did not have any expectations for it, but once I came, I was very pleasantly surprised - even more history and architecture, it's like walking in Vienna, but much cheaper. I have walked the sames streets over and over again, took some pictures, chilled at the parks, visited countless of churches and had some very nice foods. The hostel I am staying in charges me 3 Euros per night and it is in the very heart of the center. I think I will definitely have to come back here, sooner or later. I haven't experienced much of a night life here since hostel is full of older or Ukrainians, so I did not make any friends, but it looks like it has a whole lot to offer, day and night.

Today, however I took a little tour to Carpathians. I was very much against the tour, but there is not other way to get there, so there I was, in a bus, full of Ukrainians and 3 Polish people and we went to the mountains. A little disappointed, since it was less about mountains, more about old fortresses and souvenir shopping, but I did manage to get myself into an adventure. Guide was talking in Ukrainian so my understanding was limited. And I can swear I understood her saying that we will take a little trekking round and then get back to the bus. So I headed there. I was the only one. In the beginning it was an easy stroll, so I did not make much of it, but further I went, it became more and more challenging and I kept thinking - how these people with kids are planning on doing it. Well, they didn't, they all went for shopping and I was literally the only one on that track. Don't do that! I was the only one, no one knew where I was, I had a gps on me, but that was it. I was climbing up and don't the mountain, through the forest and got further than expected. Luckily I walk fast, so I managed to come back before they noticed my disappearance, but it freaked me out. What if I broke my ankle or something like that? No one knew I was there and no bars on my phone proved I was in the middle of nowhere.

But, as all good things end up good, I survived. Because I have a safety net. Or something like that.

Tomorrow off to Azerbaijan. Kind of excited and a little scared, I did not make enough research on the place. But Baku cannot be that bad, right? Let me check and get back to you.

      *         *          *

Off Topic

Don't be afraid. Climb the cliff, try unexpected and unknown. Fall in love. Dare to say "yes" and dare to believe that this is for real. Of course anything can happen, but be true to yourself. You can be an exception. And so can I.

"-.....I'm the exception...
-You are *my* exception" 

Chapter four: The wonderland called Moldova

Moldova, a place proved to me more exciting than I have anticipated. Of course, not just that.

I have been on this earth for 33 years, traveled numerous countries, slept in many many hostels, and only now, for the first time in my life I had the "pleasure" to meet the majestic queen of the bitchland - a f***ing bed bug. Everyone who knows me that well, knows what kind of fear and paranoia I have for these little fuckers [not even going to ask to pardon my French], so imagine my shakiness when I had to face one. On a plus side I found it in the bathroom, so hopefully it came dragged by someone else far far away from my bed, because I inspected the bed, hostel inspected the bed - nothing to be found in there. I still freaked, but in a cultural kind of manner - you would be proud. I did ask hostel to wash all my clothes in high temperatures and I am keeping my bag in the sun so if there are any left anywhere, they can suffocate from heat and die in a miserable way. And as a proper psychopath, I dealt with the one I met accordingly: first I flicked it on the floor, let it run around a little, watching as it was trying to find a good spot to hide. It looked scared, the little shithead. I looked closely at it, just to make sure I know what I am dealing with (technically I am still not 100% sure it was it, but what else would it be?) and then a thought came to my head: "Okay, I think it is enough for you to live" and I ended it's life with a slipper. Yikes, I really hate them. But every possible precaution has been taken, my stuff is officially bed bug free in a few hours and anything that had ANY contact with my bed is going straight to the trash bin. Not taking any risks and not taking any of those fuckers anywhere. 

Besides that, Moldova excites me. I came to my hostel in the afternoon, had a little walk around the city center - it's tiny, so that's not time consuming at all. And once back in the hostel I made three kind of crazy friends. We went for dinner and then, in a quite late evening hours [almost hitting a midnight] we have decided to take a little tour to an old jewish cemetery, because, why not? The German guy was in charge of taking us there, it was about 4 kilometers walk and surprise surprise when we got there - the gate was closed. But after walking this far we were not going to turn back empty handed. The cemetery was fenced by this thick, quite tall wall and what were we going to do? We were of course going to climb it. Somehow we split into twos, and South African guy I was with found a tree that helped us get in. We got luckier I guess. I scraped my knee, but at least we got in with no troubles. The other guys, on the other hand, got shouted at by some lady and were afraid some police will come after us. Police didn't show, so we walked the cemetery, mostly in dark. It was very old and very deserted, where the nature is kind of taking over, very interesting experience. Not sure if I recommend it to anyone, but I definitely enjoyed it to bits.

The next day me and South Africa went to Tiraspol, a capital city of Transnistria, which is not really recognized by anyone in the world. It's something a little out of ordinary, because you cross the border, they give you a migration card, once in, you exchange your regular money to their currency, that no one else is using [so you cannot exchange it back anywhere in the world as well], you can buy their own stamps, but if you want to actually send something via post, you need to buy Moldovan ones and so on. Once inside the city, it feels like the time has stopped - there's Lenin's statues, there's the Soviet smell and feel. Not much to do, but still interesting to see. 

The next day I went to a monastery in the valley. Or better yet, there is a monastery, that is not much to look at, but there's a beautiful valley next to it, so you can take a very easy [even if still very hot] hike along it on down at the valley itself. 

And here we are at the present day. I was thinking going to a winery tour, but I think this is out the window. So I think I will take a little easy stroll in the town, go into a park, read a book, try to be calm and relaxed. And then tomorrow back to Ukraine - the mountains. I have high hopes for it, but before I go, I need to survive an 8 hours bus drive there. Wish me luck!

Chapter Three: Odessa, oh Odessa

Kids, maybe don't do what I did. Don't leave for a backpacking trip after such life changing events.I will survive, of course, but still, maybe don't do it. 

Odessa, oh Odessa, a little marble ball of the Ukrainian coast. After two and a bit days in here I can say - I definitely like it. Sure, the beaches are bitterly overcrowded, in the evenings it looks just like main street in Palanga: music everywhere, people selling stuff, people buying stuff, walking around, but it has a lot of charm. It has this happiness in air that you cannot help but smile and enjoy your stroll through the little streets and boulevards. 

I went to the port to see a fantastic sunset with the cranes, I walked many many of their parks, it's amazing how much green this city has to offer, I read my book, I day dreamed and enjoyed being by myself. I even found a place with amazing suvlakis [pardon my spelling, not sure how to write Greek food name in Latin letters] for mere twelve DKK and it was almost as good as the one in the suburbs of Athens.

To people, I look local. They keep approaching me in Russian and Ukrainian and then look surprised when I struggle answering in what they think should be my native language. It's kind of funny really, considering how much effort local girls put into looking pretty and then there's me, in my trekking shoes, no make up, hair up and tight in a little bundle, but somehow I still look local. And those girls.. Ah, those beautiful insecure things [not things in a bad way], who need validation all the time from everyone. Must be so exhausting, but they still walk in high, sometimes super high heeled shoes, pretty dresses, lots of make up and artificial everything: nails, eyelashes, breasts, lips - I could go on. And that posing, for each picture, turning body sideways, putting one leg in front, arm over the non-existent tummy [to hide all possible imperfection caused by fat], it makes me laugh and at the same time sad - so much effort and in the end, they are still little insecure things who will do anything to get that needed validation. 

               *                *                *

Off Topic

I didn't know how to tell you. Still don't. I just did, you just don't know it yet. I just felt that I had to share it with you, because.. well, you know. Surely, it would have been much better over few hoegaardens in the tree, but now the tree is cut down and we are in different countries. And who knows when we will be in one again. Just keep the promise, will you? Only 27 years left. Or 28, we never decided who needs to turn 60. Who knows, maybe this time I will need to hold your hand for a change.

           *                 *                   *

Chapter two: Kiev

Kids, don't do what I did. Don't leave your place of stay without map, water, any kind of ID and bank cards with only equivalent of 20 EUR. Surely I survived, but still, don't do that.

Kiev. It's a beautiful city, full of churches and parks and I enjoyed my time here. It's also very interesting to see churches full of religious people, women with scarfs over their heads [what is God's problem with women hair?], both young and old, going around, praying, lighting candles, doing all kinds of things that are not easily understandable for me, but very entertaining to watch and observe. Parks are even better. Numerous people going and coming, staying and enjoying - it is really becoming a modern advanced city. I could maybe even imagine living here one day. Probably not, but I would put a red pulsating cross over it. 

Chernobyl exceeded all my expectation by quite a bit. Probably a lot thanks needs to be said to Chernobyl Tours dot com and our guide Igor [or Ihor] - it was full day of interesting facts and some little walks down the Soviet memory lane. Pripyat, now better known as a ghost town by the Chernobyl Nuclear power plant, reminds of home by a lot. Some buildings look just like the blocks in Klaipėda, ant the amusement park has the exact same Orbita like in Kaunas or little boats [laiveliai] in any of the city in Lithuania where they were put back in the day. I can only recommend taking a tour there - it is not the cheapest entertainment in Ukraine, but man, it is worth it. The history of it is also very heart breaking and moving - I knew some of it, but I definitely left my tour richer in knowledge.

Tomorrow I am leaving for Odessa. Let's see what it will bring. But I am sure Kiev can be a destination to return in the future. Will see.

         *            *             *

Off topic

You didn't believe in us enough for it to happen. And now there is no way back. I don't know how this trip will change me or what version of me will return back to life. But I know where it will not take me back. And I think I'm happy about it.

I'm still very blown away by the turns my life took right before I left. And occasionally, when I remember what I have done, I need to stop, remind myself to breath again and look at the bigger picture. But then the butterflies in my stomach start to go crazy and I start to think that I really only had two options: the right one and the one I did not pick.

And now there is only one way forward.

         *               *                 *