°I'm dreaming of the white Christmas°

In the last 48 hours I have been working 32. You do the math, I will just rest.

It’s my fault really. Not being able to say no, when someone asks. Especially when I know that if they ask, they need me. Anyways, does not matter anymore. In the next 48 hours I will probably only work 17 hours. And it’s going to be okay.

I have been having these strange dreams. So real, that my head keeps on spinning after I wake up and makes me wonder. I do not remember most of them, but those are not nightmares. Still, from the looks of the blankets, those are not easy dreams. I wake up and my bed is messed up, almost like never.

I’m tired. Not of everything, but just of the recent non-stop doing and going and doing and going. And I would kill right now for a cup of hot chocolate, feet massage and good movie. Sadly enough, I would give it all up for a koala hug. Not going to happen. Maybe I should stop dreaming when I’m awake. It’s tiring.

A strange news got to me. And even though I understand everything that is behind, and there is nothing wrong, still, it kinda hurts. Deleting me, because questions happen to be unbearable.. Understandable, of course, still, that little pain in my chest says that I am to be forgotten. Oh well..

I keep on watching that reaper with umbrella. Time to go back? Maybe..

And today, after all those working hours I went to the shop. I wanted to buy wine, but I got it for free. Still not sure how that happened, but who am I to question? Free wine, heated up back at home, white stuff falling from the sky. I am in my Christmas. And no, this time there is no miracle, as it was for the past few years. Just Christmas. Even if the white stuff was disappearing in my eyes and my palms. A mug of wine in my hands and I am fine. I always am. It’s not the end. Maybe not that end, anyways.

Those cute adorable guys at work were spoiling me again. Word here, word there, one cookie, a cake and other sweet tasty stuff. They really like me. For the reason I will probably never know.

And yes. I get to see The Killers. Two more to go and I can die [just interesting choice of words, of course].

See, miracles still happen. You do love me, after all this time. Even without admitting. Or reminding. Or disappearing. Or… Never mind. I put it in the box.

Not old, not new, just a sound. Ever thought it could be us?

No off topic. It’s kind of off topic itself.

But we had time against us,
Miles between us,
The heavens cried,
I know I left you speechless,
But now the sky has cleared and it's blue,
And I see my future in you.