7 Jun 2014

°My empire of dirt°

And here I am again, in the casino at the end of the world. Left out, still not being able to make out of what I have done wrong. Just like that – left out. No explanation, no conversation. Just a spinning silence.

And now I am not sure which table to go to. I toss a coin for the answer and it just caught hanging in the air.

I really don’t know.

°°I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real°°

I haven’t done anything wrong, have I? I was honest. I was just trying to be honest. And to maybe fix it up afterwards.

I am not a great person. But I am not a horrible one either.
I was just trying to meet you half way. That is not too little. Or is it?

°°What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end°°

And you keep asking me why it is so hard for me to trust people.
And I always respond to you with why is it so hard to keep promises.

°°Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here°°


I bought a new computer and a tablet yesterday. Just when I was making purchases, I felt this urge to share news with you. And then I realized – I can’t. And I even don’t know why.

°°If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself

I would find a way°°

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