There are several ways to loose your mind. To run
away. To miss the spot. To be taken away. Sometimes you can be what you want to
be. Some time does give you such a privilege.
-How do you say goodbye to someone you know you will
most probably never see again and you know that your step was a little too
strong and now your footprints are leaving the blood behind?
Apparently You can be somebody’s Prozac. And just like
that I was your Prozac. Did not hurt before I realized. Next time I’m asking
for your doctor’s prescription. Or a payment. This has got to stop.
-Normally I would have ran away. This time, just like
a butterfly, I went straight for the flame.
-Just like a
Little Prince, I always feel responsible for the ones I touch. And just like
him, I was getting happier and happier as the hour of the meeting was getting
closer. And no, I am not afraid to admit my own mistake. I kind of do like it.
He loved and he drove – like a mad man.
……………………………
I did not fall. But I fell.
There was a footprint left on the heart. And for
everyone’s sake there is only a little hope that there was not any other
remarkable mark left as well. Just think about it – if he managed to erase the
impossible, what other super powers does he have?
I’ve done it. I kept my word. I kept my promise. I
took a risk and I enjoyed the moment. Could not feel happier? Consequences? Just like a hunger or thirst it will come.
Probably joined with agony, physical and mental pain, but hey, at least I lived
the day.
Why mean? I never thought to ask.
If you walk on a thin ice, you might as well dance. I
walked on a thin ice. I played with fire. I played with fire on a thin ice. It’s
just like going back to the same old casino at the end of the world. You know
there is no way out and the risk involved is more than you could handle. But
you still trust yourself. You still trust you luck. And sometimes – it does not
neglect you.
……………………………….
For all I know we just switched the roles. Now I am
enjoying and you are getting involved. Yes, it is once again just like playing
with fire on a thin ice. But I am not afraid to crack. I am afraid of getting
out alive.
Once again, I found myself in a crossroad. What do I
do? Where do I go? Which turn do I take? Where do I close my eyes and open my
hands? My heart?
We all make mistakes. At least mine ones are
different. And you are getting stuck in the same ones.
……………………
I should have ran away, but I stayed. I should have
gotten angry or at least sad, but I just smiled. I should have been older and
wiser, but ended up just older.
For some reason he trusted me. Liked me in a way I
guess. And I felt very much attracted. Not in a physical kind of the way. There
was something about him that kept me staying.. on a blade.
Did I want to be Prozac?
He opened up and told me more than to any other
average person. Definitely he told me more than he should have. My guess is –
he just needed a friend. A real friend. And somehow I always end up being a
friend. I should just change my occupation. Being a therapist might be just the
very same thing, but at least they pay you big bucks for that.
`Do one thing that scares you everyday`. I guess he
was mine for the day.
Walking the blade.
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