I'm losing it. And it sucks.
Everything is going exactly as it's been going on every single time and I am still somehow surprised when it takes that turn, where I am losing is. Surprised that it sucks even though I really shouldn't be.
Turning yet another page, except, I don't think I'm ready. Getting kind of emotional. Regardless if I am ready or not, I am losing it.
It's okay though. End is part of the process, part of the end.
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From the books:
“Life is such a strange thing, she thinks, once she has stopped laughing. Even after certain things have happened to them, no matter how awful the experience, people still go on eating and drinking, going to the toilet and washing themselves - living, in other words. And sometimes they even laugh out loud. And they probably have these same thoughts, too, and when they do it must make them cheerlessly recall all the sadness they'd briefly managed to forget.”
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