Life, while back, was more as a roller-coaster ride than an ordinary easy going Thai style life in Bangkok. And my `being late` did not help at all. Not that I regret that decision.
It all started with coming back after midnight, where I only got a little [a bit too little after the tripping] sleep and headed to school, first thing in the morning. My teacher greeted me with `so, you missed the first lecture`, which was followed by my `oh, I’m sorry, I got stuck in Laos`. But so we continued.
Even if I felt a big need to catch up on my sleep, when I got a message from Carolin that Swedish guys are in town and they want to meet, I just could not say no. Let the party begin. We first met with Kathi, went for a dinner and wait for the girls to come. After the girls showed up, we went to the Irish pub for a beer. I have to admit, it gave me some sentiments for The Dubliner. Although they do have a little less people in there and much more staff. And still, waiters and waitresses were much slower than I used to be. And much more cheerful for that matter. The boys were late, so we decided that it’s time to go to Gazebo. I was skeptical about, but Carolin was sure that if a group of five girls are coming before midnight, they get a bottle of vodka for free. We entered around 11.52 p.m. and what do you know – they did give a bottle of vodka for us. So we stayed there, listened to some live music [nothing fancy, covers mostly, but I liked it], talking about what’s happening in our lives and then finally the boys showed up. We had a bit of a party there happening, but my sleep was kicking it so badly that I had no other choice, but to leave the happy place and leave for the happier one, better known as my bed.
The next day I tried to reach Philipp [a.k.a. His German] and ask him if he needs anything with his broken shoulder, but reply came a little to late to meet him, so I was trying my best to catch up with endless e-mails [it’s seriously, just like feeding the monster, the more you answer, the more you get] and everything else and we decided to meet the day after. Although on the same day Greta came to town and after a long and exhausting day with a tour around the Bangkok, we decided to meet for a quick beer. She was tired, I was tired, but it was nice to see familiar face and a bit strange to speak Lithuanian after such a long time. And here I got my second Christmas present, which was even pink and it smelled just like the perfect Christmas.
We met with Philipp the next day in Sukhumvit and decided to go for a meal. Street kitchen, since it’s cheaper, of course. Turns out, not necessarily very cheap. His crab cost him 450 Baht and it was not cheap at all. Bad luck, I guess. So we were wondering here and there, to Cheap Charlies, to some sports bar killing time before Carolin comes to town and we hit `Narz` which was supposed to be a great party place. We met Swedish guys before, had some fun and finally headed for the party place. It was a disaster, if you ask me. For starters, while looking for a place wee took the wrong turn and found ourselves in the `red lights district`. We moved around for too long, but finally we got to the place. Dance music, techno house something whatever and I just wanted to get out of there. I figured it’s not polite to exit right away, so I figured I will wait politely till closing [I was hoping it closes at 2 a.m.]. Turns out, it wasn’t closing till 4, so I left as soon as I realized those news.
I spent most of the other days around New Years being with myself. I needed this time. Everything was turning around, things were changing, memories were coming back, confusing it all and making me wanna … something. I knew I am already running out of time, way behind my schedule with, well, everything and I knew I need to make my decisions fast or I will end up with nothing on my hands and nothing in my upcoming future. It was foggy mess in my head and I saw no clear signs which direction to go. I was starting to feel miserable.
And there were the New Years. I’m not big with New Years and you all know that. So we ended up meeting for dinner with Kathi and Philipp, then went to the central world for the concert. It was a complete mess – floating river of people around and almost impossible to get your way through. And, no drinks inside [not even water], so we went outside, found an open 7/11, met two Americans and celebrate the change of the here there, in the middle of nowhere next to the concert. We stayed there a little longer and decided it’s time to go `somewhere`. Somewhere ended up being Khao San Road [very original]. We met the same American guys again and ended up dancind in the street next to the Irish bar. Finally I was glad to get back home to bed. I don’t like messy New Years. This one was not bad at all, but pretty messy still.
Other days, once again, was chaotic. Well, in my head chaotic, anyway. I’ve been switching from one plan to another, trying to figure out the best possible solution and it seemed that I am incapable of finding the right answer to that. As one of the Zodiac George’s said: `Fate always gives you 2 choices. The one you should take and the one you do.` I just want to believe it‘s not my case. Although Fate never had an eye on me, when you think about it.
My plans have been changing at least thirteen times a day and made my head spin at least twice as much. I made my call. I made up my mind. And before I could change it, I booked the tickets, so there is nothing to be done in case I changed my mind. Again.
And here I was. Still drunk with constantly changing mind, facing the tickets, facing the plan I just made. Coming back to my old life. Still no idea if that was a right decision or a mistake. Cause when you think about it, I‘m loosing a lot. But maybe, maybe hopefully I will gain much more.
New plans are coming into my head and give me headache. And I never have headaches.
So I felt a need to run away from Bangkok. At least for a bit. Just to be with myself, on my own. Unfortunately, my thoughts in my head were louder than a 3rd class train, which I took to get to Ayutthaya.
It all started very well. I just came to the train station, asked for a ticket and got it for 20 Baht [just so you know, for the comparison, if you take a conditioned bus inside the Bangkok for slightly longer trip, you will pay 24 Baht] and after a nice 1.3 hours ride in a train with Salander and her stories, I got off in the place, which is an old Thailand capital. Ruins city. Well, people who know me, knows that walking around all of that ancient stuff is my thing, so I kept on enjoying it all the time. And I got in there on a lucky day – all of those places were free of charge. I still don‘t know how that happened, maybe it‘s Saturday or maybe it‘s just `Happy day for Ona`. So I kept on wondering around the city with no exact destination, no map, no anything. Just walking. Just being with myself. Just trying to calm my head down.
I liked it. It was a very nice, calm city with some nice places to see and pretty empty, not too touristy streets. I found a place for my lunch with an amazing service and noodle soup that only cost me 25Baht. I got lucky enough after it, since my train came right after I bought the ticket. Although my luck wasn‘t willing to stick with me in the train, I had to stand. It wasn‘t too bad, although I got tired and it wasn‘t too comfortable to read my book while standing. So I just sat down on some stairs. As if it wasn‘t enough that locals were staring at me awfully, when I just sat don‘t they just couldn‘t believe their eyes. Like I could give a damn.
Back to Bangkok.
Off Topic
I still keep on wondering if I made the right decision. I mean, I know, in the long run, it‘s the right thing to do, but somehow it feels wrong. Although, I already took another option once and it turned out to be a disaster. Still keep on wondering which one of us was right. And.. What if. But on the other hand, there would have been a big `what if` from the other side. I‘m lost.
Would you just tell me I made a right decision and I will get all of those doubts out of my system?
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