ºWish for something moreº

 I am sooooooo freaking happy!

I was walking home today at 6 a.m. with a smile on my face. Just happy. Just. 

I have spent my night with a dear friend talking of everything and nothing at the same time. Just reminiscing about the old days, new days, old relationships, current relationships, friendships, friends and so much more.

I am just happy. And young enough to still be able to come home after 7 a.m. with a smile on my face and grateful for my life. Just in general. Happy and grateful. 

It's everything that's beautiful.

From songs: 

Nothing is wasted and life is worth living

Heaven is nowhere, just look to the stars

There is a day that is yours for embracing

Everything's nothing, and nothing is ours

I always appreciated it, but it is nice to reassure yourself with a good people and amazing nights (and mornings!). Such a good night..

From memories:

I want to thank you for never making me to do a shame walk. As I walked home today at the time of 'shame of walk' usually happens I remembered you. I never had a feeling of shame walking when I was with you. It's nice, because it's so rare, but it's extra nice because it should be a standard. 

I still sometimes think of you and from the bottom of my heart I hope you are doing well. You are a good person and I can only hope you are realizing that you are.

I know you loved me. Even if you won't admit it now, even to yourself. Some things cannot be faked. And it 's okay. I loved you too.

I know you still love me. In some hidden, forgotten way, taken away by life turns, but it's okay. As long as you are true to yourself and still happy. Because if you are happy, I am too, for you. The tree might be gone (who would have thought?), but the feeling stays. There's too much there to just die into silence.

I don't want to die into the silence.

It may have taken me some time, but it got there. I got true to myself and it has left me content. Real kind of content. I can only wish the same for you, but I cannot grant it.

From the casino at the end of the world:

The bets were placed quite a while ago. Some of us lost, some of us won. I bet on a red this time and you know what? I won.