"And into the water I went, to lose my mind and to find my soul". I’m butchering John Muir’s quote of course. Or maybe I am just adapting it to my own level of madness and my own level of comfort. One way or another I suppose I am helping him, in case someone sees it, finds it interesting, looks him up and then voila, a new fan is uncovered.
I’m lying, surely. As much as I do like diving, it scares me and it doesn’t make me whole. It’s scary and it’s rewarding, and it’s hard to explain, but it makes me feel alive. Petting that fish was still one of the best experiences in my life. Next stop - touching an octopus!
I remembered you, which was out of the blue and sort of weird. Still no clue what caused it, and looking back - I was a champ! I was honest, I was open, I did not take no crap. The only thing I could maybe be regretful about was that I let you off the hook too quickly. Oh well, that just means I did not stoop to your level. Good on me *pats own back*.
It was a good experience, while it lasted. Short lived, nonetheless good.
I really am that good … of a person.
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“You’re doing it again” - part of me is smirking at the remaining me, judging.
She’s right, of course. I know it, she knows it, anyone who knows me on that level knows it.. Except, is there anyone out there who knows me on that level?.. You might.
I am doing it again. Following the same pattern, falling on the same path, doing the same thing. Only idiots are doing the same expecting a different result - who said that? I guess that makes me an idiot. Oh well.
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From the books:
“I penetrated the outer cell membrane with a nanosyringe."
"You poked it with a stick?"
"No!" I said. "Well. Yes. But it was a scientific poke with a very scientific stick.”
And yes - you should definitely read this one!
